Tag Archives: humor

Flappers and fidelity

30 Sunday Apr 2017

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lady mary.jpg

LADY MARY (smugly, to a baffled Lord Grantham) Your niece is a flapper, accept it.

LADY ROSE (exquisitely thrilled by the fact that she is finally being recognised and accepted for what she is) I am not a flapper!

‘Twas not the fire that burned her

08 Wednesday Feb 2017

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lady edith.jpg

LADY MARY (with sass masked as cultivated disdain) Lady Edith chose to set fire to her room, but we’re fine.

Ciabatta try these puns, hun!

04 Sunday Sep 2016

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Baker-with-Bread

Preface

This batch of freshly baked puns is for anyone who’s ever inflicted a dad joke on me; happy Father’s Day you man-sized child!

 I 

Avid aesthete: [gazes at bright-eyed, raven-haired beauty] Look at her; she’s so damn beautiful. I must shoot her—I need to shoot her!

Companion: [is visibly shocked] Shoot her?! You mean like kill her???  Continue reading →

Litbaits: click and ye shall find!

30 Tuesday Aug 2016

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the lion the witch and the wardrobe

  • Children Disappear Into Wardrobe, Emerge With Tale Of Talking Jesus Lion →
  • Criminals Hate Him! Crackhead Detective Can’t Stop Solving Crimes →
  • Hot Russian Woman Cheats On Husband, Gets SMASHED By Train →
  • Egomaniac Boss Ignores Extensive Warnings About No Good March Day, Brutally Stabbed To Death By Right-hand Man →
  • American Girl Abroad Too Flirty For Her Own Good, Dies →
  • Sex Maniac Father Obsessed With 12-Year-Old Stepdaughter: You Won’t Believe What He Did To Her! →
  • Scientists Are Baffled! Virgin Gives Birth To Miracle Baby; Who’s The Father?! →
  • Old And Ugly As Sin: You Won’t Recognise Dorian Gray In His Last Selfie →
  • They Locked Him In A Cupboard Under The Stairs, Who He Turned Out To Be Is His Best Revenge →
  • Meet The Shady Mogul Who Throws Extravagant Parties To Lure “Love Of His Life”—What He Said To Her Will Shock You! →
  • She Tried To Kill Herself, Doctors Fried Her Brains! →

* With reverent apologies to: C. S. Lewis; Sir Arthur Conan Doyle; Leo Tolstoy; William Shakespeare; Henry James; Vladimir Nabokov; Oscar Wilde; J. K. Rowling; F. Scott Fitzgerald; Sylvia Plath. 

Unwritten

18 Wednesday May 2016

Posted by in Petit Passages

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JAPAN-US-ENTERTAINMENT-CINEMA-GODZILLA

Sitting at the corner of my mind is a sprawling metropolis of abandoned ideas and incomplete drafts, all of them feverishly conceived. Some are penned in haste and barely legible, others the result of fingers tap dancing on screen. Continue reading →