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Career objective: to swoop and poop whenever and wherever the urge strikes.

Professional skills: 

  • Prone to violent bouts of diarrhoea
  • Champion fry-getter
  • Unafraid of people and seagulls
  • Dodging cars, buses, and trains
  • Good at keeping talons intact (still got both!)
  • Group player; master of gathering at feet of chip eaters and breadcrumb throwers
  • Excellent seeker of breadcrumbs
  • Comely mating calls

Career highlight: Jackson Pollocked a Bentley.

Work experience: 

See above and below, here on this page and out on the streets.

Referees / Portfolio:

The Pavement Outside Dave’s Chip Shop

The Lightbox of Chan’s Kitchen (now spiked on top)

The 3rd Park Bench at Belmore Park (once green, now 70% white)