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Tag Archives: life

On feelings, friendship, and being female

21 Wednesday Sep 2016

Posted by Betty Zhang in Letters

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concert, feelings, feminism, friendship, letter, life, longreads, music, prose, women, writer, writing

blair and serena.jpg

How would you like to be left at a concert by your very best friend? Aside from feeling utterly gutted, I was sick with guilt and worry. What was I doing dragging her to something she wouldn’t enjoy, and how was I to live with myself if something were to happen to her on her way home, alone at night? To further complicate things, that live performance ended up being the most emotionally intense musical experience of my life. It was, paradoxically, the best and worst night ever. This is a raw and honest open letter to my best friend about that night.  Continue reading →

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Little Russian prince

13 Tuesday Sep 2016

Posted by Betty Zhang in Beauty

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baby, Beauty, children, family, life, love, mother, prose, writer, writing

thelittleprince

The most gorgeous little boy came into my workplace today. I was talking to his mother when a blur of blonde swished past her hips; my view was blocked at first by the high counter behind which I stood, but when I brought the catalogue of Christening cakes to her table later, I couldn’t help but take a good look at what I knew would be a child cherubic enough to send Raphael into a frenzy of Sistine proportions.

And he was: his perfectly round little head, platinum under the sun just then, was now strawberry blonde verging on faux ginger as he sat where the light did not reach. Add to that a chubby buttermilk face that was freckle-free and spotless, fresh and soft the way all baby skin are, and add also his impossibly light, fairy-like golden lashes and you almost have the whole picture. Almost; but oh his eyes! Continue reading →

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Ciabatta try these puns, hun!

04 Sunday Sep 2016

Posted by Betty Zhang in Conversations

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comedy, dialogue, family, father's day, humor, jokes, life, pun, writer, writing

Baker-with-Bread

Preface

This batch of freshly baked puns is for anyone who’s ever inflicted a dad joke on me; happy Father’s Day you man-sized child!

 I 

Avid aesthete: [gazes at bright-eyed, raven-haired beauty] Look at her; she’s so damn beautiful. I must shoot her—I need to shoot her!

Companion: [is visibly shocked] Shoot her?! You mean like kill her???  Continue reading →

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Sorry

02 Tuesday Aug 2016

Posted by Betty Zhang in Petit Passages

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anxiety, books, health, life, literature, poem, poetry, prose, thoughts, writer, writing

book-flatlay

‘Sorry,’ I said to the cashier at the art store because I took too long to grab my bags, of which I was carrying four. And I was sorry. ‘Sorry,’ I said again on my way out, because the shop was crowded with shelves and people and I was carrying one too many bags. I did not bump into anyone or knock anything off but still I was sorry for the time and space I took when exiting. And I was sorry many times before then because the aisles were narrow and I had to get through or somebody else had to get through, either way I was sorry I troubled the other shoppers. I went to a thrift shop next and I was sorry there too, sorry for the fact that the shirt I tried on did not suit me, sorry that I did not make a purchase and they have to put it back. ‘Sorry, that’s okay, thank you so much,’ I managed, this time at the music store, because the clerk could not locate the vinyl I wanted. I was sorry that he tried for me and wasted his time when he could be doing something else. Then I was sorry I was sorry because I had started to feel real bad for myself, because the only reason I kept apologising was this—this idea that I was unworthy of their services, someone who did not deserve their products or anything for that matter. And Uber—the convenience of it all and the patience of that particular driver—had me sorry too, four times if I remember it correctly: twice for having too many bags and twice more for being confused as to where he was parked; and he did not know this but I was sorry for seating at the back too, I would have ridden shot gun had I fewer bags to carry but he probably thought I was protecting myself from him. I was sorriest when I got home and looked at all that I had bought because I thought I did not deserve them. But later that night when I was well-rested and the boulder of existence lifted from my chest new copies of Hemingway, Pushkin and Yeats were read and felt and understood and I was not sorry anymore, I was soaring.

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On plurality, a symptom of the human condition

26 Tuesday Jul 2016

Posted by Betty Zhang in Opinion

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human condition, life, literature, poem, poetry, postmodernism, prose, thoughts, writer, writing

andy warhol.jpg

We are nothing if not plural, in our daily dalliances with plural others who, just like us, adjust their persona to suit different situations, places, and peoples.

We are nothing if not plural, when we say one thing yet behave otherwise; we attempt to reduce ourselves to absolutes in the hopes that by conveying a singular self to another they’d understand our ‘true’ selves but how could they, when we are all complex and contradictory beings struggling to make sense of ourselves, of which there are many?

We are nothing if not plural, yesterday today and tomorrow, for people change and no-one goes from birth to death unmarked by life, by others, by themselves.

We are plural, you and I, so let us not confine ourselves to forced categories and false pretences out of fear of not being understood. Let us run free and admit that we are nothing but inconstant, temperamental: multiple versions of a work in progress until we expire.

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DIY or die 

04 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by Betty Zhang in Short Stories

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career, fiction, life, literature, personal, prose, short story, story, writer, writing

world tumblr.jpg

She wanted to eat the world for it was right in front of her eyes, on a platter, blue and ready to be consumed. But she had neither fork nor knife—not even a toothpick was in sight! She looked at her hands, at the other people sitting alone at their individual tables eating their share of the world with forks, knives, chopsticks and whatnot, realised there were no spare utensils lying around and certainly no servers from whom utensils could be acquired, and decided to eat it by hand. Hungry and eager to have what everyone else was having, she tried to lift the heavy watery globe with her hands. Continue reading →

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A letter to my suicidal 15-year-old self 

29 Sunday May 2016

Posted by Betty Zhang in Letters

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Tags

anxiety, depression, letter, life, mental illness, personal, school, study, suicide, university, work, writer, writing

Dear 15-year-old me,

I know all you can think about right now is the major science project that’s due soon. You’ve always been an exceptional student—every report card confirms your status as a ‘high achiever’ of scores, firsts, and awards—and you intend to keep things that way. Maintaining a perfect academic record means everything to you, and it doesn’t help that you’re every teacher’s pet. Later, you’ll realise that every mark and praise you worked long and hard to receive was a means to fill the gaping hole where a secure sense of self-worth should be, and isn’t Continue reading →

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A brief summary of life:

12 Thursday May 2016

Posted by Betty Zhang in Opinion

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career, humor, inspiration, life, poetry, prose, work, writer, writing

Hired tired retired

tumblr_mkybuiInXO1rtut36o1_1280.gif

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You’re cordially invited to my pity party (read: my life is no lighthearted sitcom, woe is me)

17 Sunday Apr 2016

Posted by Betty Zhang in Petit Passages

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entertainment, life, pop culture, sit-com, television, tv, writing

977594_1280x720

I wish my life was a sitcom. That way, everything and everyone will turn out alright at the end, because you just know. Continue reading →

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All in the head: conversations I wish I had

26 Saturday Mar 2016

Posted by Betty Zhang in Conversations

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Conversations, divorce, feminism, humor, life, love, marriage, personal, prose, writing

Gossiping.jpg

Boy: So what should I get her? Some red roses? A necklace with a moon pendant? That’d be clever, wouldn’t it, and romantic too.

Me: Must your lover be doomed to either receive a wilting bouquet symbolising love or have your love for her compared to a dull satellite that waxes and wanes?

Boy: Are you always like this? It must be exhausting.

Me: Exhausting? I find it most exhilarating; don’t you?  Continue reading →

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